I Hate Kids: A Rant

By R. Hembree

I hate kids.

I hate that they move slowly, without thought or concern for anyone with any actual place to go.

I hate all of the space they occupy. And the messes they leave behind. And I hate all of the accommodations that are made for them and that they can scream whenever they choose. They’re all a bunch of jerks. I especially hate the people who push kids in strollers. And double especially those who leave the strollers wherever they choose and that like to bring their monstrosities to places they don’t belong and don’t fit.

They like to do stupid things with their hands like hold coffee and phones so that the strollers are a nuisance to everyone but it’s all about their dreary children. I hate the people that park, double-park, and occupy all of the space on the streets with their cars so they can cling to a fence and watch their hideous kids enter school grounds. I hate all of the traffic and noise and pollution that kids and their caretakers generate.

I hate that every year I know school is in session because of all the miserable parents congesting the streets and highways and that one wrong turn lands you in a “school zone” driving purgatory.

The part of the economy that’s build around kids, I hate it.

The part of modern technology that’s designed for kids, I hate it.

That everyone everywhere falls all over themselves to gain the attention of turd children, I hate it.

All of the considerations that have to be made for kids and then the kids just make a bunch of noise and filth and slobber, I hate that too.

Ptooey!

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And further more!!
We kinda agree…but then…if the kids are rotten chances are it’s because of the parents!
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